Some times I just don't know what's wrong with me. I get so tired sometimes, just in need of bumming for a bit, but of course there is so much I should be doing that then I feel guilty, and guilt leads to feeling overwhelmed and inadequate, which in turns just leads to feeling badly. What's a girl supposed to do? Some times I just have a need to sit in the sun and be in the presence of God; sometimes that becomes paramount. Maybe that's what I'm supposed to be doing. And when I sit with God, what do I hear? I hear God telling me I have to be in the Word, I have to be in the scriptures. I'm so bad at that. I want to be, I plan on reading, I very often do log on to the Benedictine website and read morning and evening prayers/meditations, but it's not enough. So now I'm trying to read the Bible at the stop light, at the drive-thru, at those unexpected free times. I miss the Abbey sometimes, cuz there we are all doing the work... we pray, we worship, we work, we study, we relax, but we do it in community. We aren't always together, but we are all doing the same type of things at the same time. There's a sense of power and unification in that. I think I am in need of spiritual friends and mentors, spiritual direction, support and encouragement. Let's hope that God leads me to those very soon.